Gadzooks

Although I did not realize it had come and gone until 11:59pm, April 14 was my second tattaversary! Jeepers, how time flies. It has been at least six months since my last post, and well over a year since my last relapse.

Life is good.

Amazing

A phenomenal story and video from Dave Bexfield from Active MSers, one of my favorite MS-related blogs. His story is amazing--and full of hope. Enjoy.

Checking in

Yikes... has it really been almost 2 months since my last post?! Where has the summer gone???

Clearly it has been a busy one, so I'll fill you in on the highlights:

1. I have spent some quality time at the family farm this Summer--loads of fun, but it has resulted in an influx of giant woodticks on my dogs. I also got to spend a bunch of time with my niece and nephew (unrelated to the woodtick tangent, but definitely related to the farm), who are the smartest and cutest kids in the whole wide world. For real.
2. The garden has been successful, for the most part, and with a large stock of supplementary veggies from mom and dad's farm yield, I have eaten cucumbers and/or tomatoes in some form for as many days as I can remember. The sheer quantity of delicious veggies prompted me to buy a freezer, which is filling quickly with fresh tomato sauces, tomato basil soup, cucumber soup, zucchini muffins, and a handful of other delicious summertime treats. Coming soon: my fall favorite--chili, which will be made this year from the many platters of tomatoes currently filling my counters and windowsills.
3. Soccer continues--not much new there, except for some reason the past month or to have seemed outrageously hot, and I have been feeling excessively lazy on the field. Looking forward to crisp, cool autumn games... and a renewed level of exertion as temps drop down.
4. The new job is going fabulously--more new challenges than I ever expected, and a wonderful group of people to work with. Admittedly, I'm looking forward to feeling more like an "expert" in my area of alleged expertise, but for now--I'm learning a ton, and enjoying what I do.

So yeah, pretty boring stuff. In an effort to make it more exciting, I'm including a close-up shot of one of the freakin' ticks that filled itself to capacity and dropped right off my dog. Seriously gross.

Enjoy!

hot hot heat + soccer (in a frying pan) = carpe diem

Holy mackerel, it was hot today. Maybe not as hot as some parts of the country, but hot nonetheless. Especially for a soccer game. The heat, combined with the artificial turf surface we played on that sucks in every single degree out of the atmosphere and multiplies it by 12 before shooting it back out like a giant hair-dryer, brought back (temporarily) the more-than-a-year-old symptom of tweaked out vision in my left eye. This re-emergence can be attributed to Uhthoff's Symptom, or the phenomenon through which symptoms are prevalent during heat and/or physical activity (among other triggers).

It is entirely possible that the vision loss was purely psychological. I know that heat can exacerbate symptoms, so perhaps I'm hyper-vigilant and subsequently prone to letting my imagination get the best of me. But that doesn't matter. The important thing is that this evening's phenomenon served as a gentle reminder that I need to be out there pushing and challenging myself and getting all up in Uhthoff's grill.

Settling dust...

I am home tonight, having just returned from a lovely summer bikeride to the bookstore near my house. I have nearly forgotten the simple pleasures like this that I love about summertime, and this week I'm fortunate to be able to embrace them. I have a slow two weeks on tap after a bunch of travel (both for work and for fun), and after last weekend's championship victory, my soccer schedule has scaled back from 5 games per week to 3. I finally feel like I am settling into my new job, so a collective sense of calm is finally returning.

In the midst of the chaos that headlined the past few weeks, I have neglected my blog more than ever before. Please forgive me! I promise to bring everyone up to speed on a plethora of topics, including the MS60 that my wingman and I participated in (with amazing support of friends and family resulting in more than $700 raised for the MS Society), the amazing garden that has sprouted from my seedlings, and the multitude of trips I have been on over the past several weeks (spanning Vegas, NYC, Iowa, and Florida).

For tonight, however, I'm heading to my porch with a yummy glass of wine and one of my five new books. Who could ask for a better evening?

oh my...

It's only a matter of hours until I head to the start line for the 60-mile bike ride, and I'm gathering a pile of winter gear. Yes, winter gear. Because it's supposed to snow tonight, and I may be slogging through an inch of sloppy wet nonsense tomorrow. WTF, Minnesota... WTF?

p.s. the knowledge that all of you wonderful people helped me to earn more than $700 for the MS Society will help keep me warm and fuzzy. Maybe not so much physically, but still--I'm in awe of all of the generous donations.

a moment

If there is any likeness between my life and a run through a washing machine, I am currently fully immersed in the Agitator cycle.

The events of the past few weeks have upended my comfortable life and catapulted me into new, exciting, and uncharted territories.

• I am leaving a job I have been with for more than five years and moving into an amazing new role within the same company--all the while attempting to document and transition responsibilities as best I can to make life easier for the team I'm leaving. I'll be moving away from my full-time home office status to a split between corporate offices and my home office.


• I started reffing soccer games for the co-ed recreational league in which I play (and while that may not sound like a big deal, you should try running around a field for an hour having 15 people question, challenge, and refute every word that comes out of your mouth--quick way to realize the ol' skin needs some toughening up--and FAST).


• My parents sold their place in Florida and are slowly transitioning to full-time Iowa residency--a move that has resulted in a handful of wonderful heirloom furnishings for my home (some cleaning, re-arranging, and donating of old pieces is definitely in order).


• The unseasonably warm temps of spring in the midwest appear to be sticking around, and I have a window full of rapidly growing plants--with little more than an idea of where to put a garden and a list of physical "to do's" to get them moved outside.


• My inability to say "no" to any of the fun soccer teams I play with has me gearing up to be on the field 5 fun-filled days per week.


• My dogs constantly remind me that just because my routines are changing doesn't mean I can neglect them in the process.

These events--large and small, exciting and at times a little scary--have me traversing chaos, hurtling fast-forward through time, squeezing every last minute out of each day to stay on top of things without letting anything fall. In the end, the changes are all positive, but the undercurrent of change is shifting me from one who was knowledgeable and confident in what I was doing to one who has much to learn.

Tonight was the first night in weeks that I have had time to sit back, wash a few dishes, dust the growing mounds of dirt off a few surfaces, and try to restore some sense of order in my home. In the process, I sorted through a stack of mail on my counter from a few days ago. In the middle of the stack I found an issue of the publication my local MS Society chapter puts out. I flipped through the first pages of the magazine, and skimmed summaries of local events and support groups for people living with MS. And suddenly, with no warning... the floodgates opened, my throat tightened, and tears streamed down my face.

I'm pretty sure the outburst can be written off as a not-so-gentle reminder that I could use to catch up on some sleep and let go of some of the thoughts and worries I'm allowing to stress me out. But a tiny little rumbling of ice-cold fear in my belly thinks the tears were a result of a jarring realization. This crazy, mysterious phenomenon that is happening in my body has not hindered my ability to navigate the changes I'm working through today. But it could. It so easily could. All it would take is a tiny little strategically placed lesion--very much within the realm of possibility--to crumble my delicate reality into a pile of scraps and dust, vulnerable to the slightest breeze. A time bomb in my system ticking quietly, waiting for the right moment to explode. A reality I understand much more clearly after my relapse a few months ago.

I guess occasional collisions with these types of fear are expected when you live with MS. These fears are eloquently described in an amazing post on Wheelchair Kamakaze's blog, and tonight's temporary shift in perspective seemed like the perfect opportunity to share it.